Loving!

Someone recently asked me to write about love.

The way I feel about love. Honestly, I don’t know what to write about.

Love is one of the strongest words I have ever known.

And as I grew up, I heard a lot of people saying absolute stupid shit like ‘Love hurts’ and blah blah. I mean, can love actually ever hurt?

No.

I mean, even , if you get your heart broken one fine morning, isn’t it a beautiful feeling to know how does it feel to feel!

To know that okay, you loved that one person and for you he/she was the world and now he is no more with you, you actually reach to a level of self realization.

I have gone through that stage and believe me it was just fine with me. I felt and I healed. And I am as good as ever!  Heart breaks make you stronger and give you a clearer vision in life.

 Maybe people will disagree to what I am saying here but that is just the way I feel.

 I have been the kind of girl who keeps falling in love all the time.

I fall in love way too quickly, get my heart broken and then sit and cry rivers until I fall in love again!

YES.

Sounds weird but that is it.

I fall in love with people all the time.

I fall in love with their smiles, with their confidence and  their lack of it.

I fall in love with people’s thoughts and their little annoying habits!

I fall in love with their honest mistakes, their courage and their beliefs.

And obviously, I, here, ain’t talking about the romantic love only.

Yes, I have been in love with men too.

Most of them assholes.

So there is absolutely no point talking about them.

Nevertheless I still believe love is a wonderful feeling to have.

And self love… yes! My favorite thing in the whole world.

Self love is very important, you cannot really love others until you learn to love yourself.

You should love every bit of you.

Your looks, your thoughts, your whole reason of existence on this planet.

I mean, you should be able to do your thing and not care what others think of it.

And remember you don’t have to be different to be worthy. Your worth is in your nature, the core of love and inner goodness.

You are a beautiful light. You are love. Your magnificence can be buried, but its impossible to destroy.

People in search of love often tend to forget that you don’t need to be accepted by others but by yourself.

One question that we all need to ask ourselves.

Do you love yourself enough to live in the moment, to forget the past, not worry about the future, but to be truly present to the opportunity within every moment?

How to get drunk off of happiness?

1.    Stop dwelling.

Past is precious. Learn from your mistakes. Learn from others’ mistakes. Remember the good times. Remember the people.

Forget the pain and the tears.

Let the heartaches heal.

The pain is just training; it doesn’t define you. Think about what went wrong but only in terms of how you will make sure that, next time, you and the people around you will make sure that it goes right.

2.   Stop buying possession, start buying experiences.

Instead of buying that extravagant piece of diamond, why not go on a trip to that little hill station?

No doubt buying things makes us feel better immediately, but at the end of the day it’s the experiences that count.

They enrich us in more ways than one could imagine.

3.     Pay compliments.

Start paying compliments. If you like someone’s hairdo or their shoes or their smile, go ahead, tell them. Tell them you find them beautiful, with a smile. And the moment you do that, you will feel better about yourself. The idea behind this is when you know you can make someone feel better about themselves, you automatically feel good about yourself too.

Believe me, this works.

4.   Stop blaming, Foster forgiveness.

When you blame others for a mistake they did, you yourself carry half a burden of their faults on your shoulders.

If the loss is too big you can be mad at them for awhile as it is inevitable but in the end let go of it. Holding onto grudges will only increase your pain.

5.   The gratitude diary

Maintain a gratitude diary. Write down all the things you are grateful for.

A baby looked at you and smiled in the morning. You felt nice about it, write it down in your diary.

Doing this exercise kills the bitterness and despair and promotes happiness.

6.   Do what you like. Live your dreams.

This is a very simple and easy thing to do.

But we rarely we do it, screw anything that doesn’t make you happy.

You like eating ice creams?

Well go out and eat as much you want, all that you want.

You like reading?

Sit all day at home and read all that you love.

You like dancing but due to something or the other you never got a chance to take your dancing onto another level.

I say, do it right now. Go get yourself enrolled into a dance school or become a dance teacher, go and try your luck in a reality show. Do it! Curbing our desires for the sake of fitting in the society or under any other pressure is no good. Do what you really want to.

7.   Learn something new.

Think of a subject that you wish you knew more about and spend 15 minutes on the Internet reading about it, or go to a bookstore and buy a book about it. But be honest! Pick up a topic that really interests you, not something that you think you 'should' know or 'need to' learn about.

8.   Smile!

 Indeed the simplest step to happiness.

 Even if you don’t feel like it, fake it! Research shows that even a fake smile induces harmones that make you feel better instantly. 

According to Henry David Thoreau: "Happiness is like a butterfly: the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder."

With all due respect to the author of Walden, that just isn't so, according to a growing number of psychologists, you can choose to be happy, they say. You can chase down that elusive butterfly and get it to sit on your shoulder by taking time to reflect, and making conscious steps to make your life happier. It really does work!

What's the bad word?

Character A (Pointing towards a pouch of condom): Sir, isko paani ke saath loon ya doodh ke saath (Sir, should I take it with water or milk).

Riteish: Kele ke saath, (With banana).

In another dialogue from the movie, Ritesih says, “Jab se Pappu paida hua hai, main hilane me expert ho gaya hoon (I have become an expert in shaking after Pappu's birth).

These dialogues are from a movie which released last week.

The Indian Cinema has come a long way from the days of Anand and Mother India to Delhi Belly and now  Grand Masti.

The use of beep is passé. The cuss words are used profusely. The bedroom scenes have become common.

Call it the effect of commercialization and globalization of cinema or the liberalization of our censor board, Indian cinema in the past few years has seen drastic changes. The lyrics of the songs have undoubtedly stooped low. Songs like munni badnaam and sheela ki jawani didn’t create waves because of their melody or tune but primarily because of the words used in them.

A movie came, Delhi Belly. It changed the way movies were made, talking about the use of language in the film, never had we come across a movie that used swear words with such intensity. Today’s movies have loads of cuss words and choicest use of profanity. The abuse-oozing crime comedy, produced by Aamir Khan scored high with all, barring a few, setting a new definition of 'fun' in the industry.

In the past, the use of curses were only limited to the bad characters or the people who were shown in a negative light, today it has become cool talk..Today most of the movies have the common guy as their protagonist rather than a larger than life hero.

Directors claim it is only fair to the character if he swears a lot. A normal Indian, moreover a Delhite knows a lot about the cuss words and even has a flamboyant style of delivery. And mind you, its just not the guy, you can always find a young college girl curse as comfortably as a guy.

The argument, as put forward by Anurag Kashyap, director of “Gangs of Wasseypur”, is, “I come from a place where cuss words are part of everyday language and my characters are people who don’t have a rich vocabulary. We are not using profanities for effect.” 

No doubt the bar for social tolerance for profanity has increased. The Indian audience is mature than ever and is accepting the new bold face of cinema.

However the problem arises when movies go overboard with the cheap tricks and profanity.

This poses a lot of questions.

 Is this trend good or bad?

Do the people who make cinema have some social or moral obligations?

Is it fair to condemn them for showing the real true faces of the society?

Omkara used a lot of cuss words, the character Langda Tyagi was seen abusing in every second frame.

But did it feel like too much? No.

Because the director made sure that the other 2 main characters were clean, Kareena and Ajay Devgan. This is the art and this is how it should work.

One can easily differentiate a good movie from a bad one, always.

The cinema which only uses abuses and bold dialogues to sell their tickets like Grand Masti, with low grade humor and cheap acting skills is the kind of cinema which is degrading the film industry. A movie which uses sexual double meaning expletives to increase its shock value doesn't really leave an impression.

Sociologist Imitiaz Ahmed says,“In the past the use of cuss words was contextually determined and the character which used cuss words was shown in bad light or it represented the breakdown of communication, where the character would take a pause before uttering a bad word. Today cinema is not just entertainment. If it takes from society, it also shapes social behaviour. As an instrument of social change, it should reflect what is correct and what’s incorrect.”

Its obvious that the people making cinema cannot be bound to make all the movies clean and pristine. But in a country like ours, the social impact of the movies is at large. People live the movies, young children get deeply affected by it, I think the directors owe a little to the society.

No one contravene that Cinema does play a major role in a normal Indian’s life. And if it has the power to affect the lives of people in any which way, why not stay away from bad and cheap dialogues only to boost your sales? The dialogues which have neither any meaning nor any context. The ones which are used to elevate the shock factor of the movies.

The dialogues without which the Indian Cinema would have been better.

Revisting Dilli Haat!

My second assignment at college was making a photo journal on a topic of our interest.

At first when I was given this assignment I was a bit apprehensive and nervous as I had never in my life done photography professionally at any level before. 

We chose to make capture dilli haat in our cameras.

The topic was Dilli Haat: A shopper's Paradise.

And it couldn't be more apt.

Though I had been to this place about 3 years ago, this time I was here I could see it in a completely different light. Inspite of the fact that I was here actually to work and the sun shining on our foreheads(it was 2 pm afternoon) I couldn't be more ecstatic.

Dilli Haat located in the heart of the city is the most colorful and vivacious place to take photographs. It is a market cum hang out place where one gets the widest variety of Indian Handicrafts and Handlooms.

After reaching the location, it wasn’t a tough task to shoot because everything around us was so mesmerizing that we were forced to capture the beauty in your camera. The breath taking collection of Madhubani paintings, lamps, drapery and brassware offers an insight into the rich Indian culture. This place indeed is a shopper’s paradise.

The first few shots came out a little not-so-appealing as it was my first time at photography but after a while I was very comfortable with the camera and took some good shots. We were at the site for about a good 6-7 hours.

Also I was lucky to witness the Bengali cultural festival which was taking place in the vicinity of the haat. Lovely little young girls dressed up in beautiful Bengali sarees and make up and dancing to the spirited music. Sheer sightliness.

Now the tough task at hand was to select  the best 15 photographs from around the 300 pictures that we had clicked that day.

It took a lot of thinking and patience.

Finally we decided 15 photographs that we thought would be the best to showcase the true polychromatic essence of the place and at the same time would make the viewers appreciate our photography skills.

This assignment proved very fruitful for me as it instilled a confidence in me, which I earlier lacked that even I can take a few good pictures every now and then!

 

Love Birds. Made from wood. Artwork from Rajasthan.

Me and Sazia! Pic courtesy: Amit.

Here, at the Haat you find the most beautiful collection of lamps. Be it indian or chinese.

Pretty baskets. Big and small. In every color you can possibly imagine.

Every single thing gives you a feeling of a second skin.. the feeling of being crafted just for you!

Temples of worship or temples of learning?

A couple of days ago, I read  an article in Hindu about an IAS academy which functions from a mosque in Chennai. Makka Masjid on the arterial Anna Salai has been running coaching classes for IAS aspirants for over an year now. The Chief Imam of the Masjid and the founder of the institution believes that it’s just not the Quranic teachings but securing adequate space in the administrative structure responsible for bringing a desirable change in the socio-economic conditions of the Muslims.

Currently 40 students are enrolled in the coaching. It is a very positive and a decision that all must welcome.

I truly believe that whether it’s Hindus or Muslims or any other religion or social strata, educating the masses is the one and only way in which one can work towards upliftment of the suppressed class.

India is one of the most religiously diverse nations in the world, with some of the most deeply religious societies and cultures. Religion still plays a central and definitive role in the life of many.

Temples, Mosques and Churches are the places most often and regularly visited by the people, no wonder that if more schools or coaching classes worked from places like these, they would contribute to the society in a better way.

The best thing being these places are visited by all ages, and sexes.

I feel it is equally consequential for people to know about their rights and duties as it is to know their Gods. It becomes all the more important in a country like ours where most of the superstitions are enkindled from the religious stories and fables. Wouldn’t it be a nice change to watch children learn and let them grow up into apprehensible and rational human beings?

And the places meant for our religious practices undeniably can also be where one gets empowered and enlightened in the true sense. Religious education and primary education is already being imparted in some mosques and temples but the need of the hour is bigger, the dire need of vocational education cannot be stretched enough. Besides these, it is also of utmost significance that women be educated about their rights.

Instead of filling their heads with stories of gods and goddesses and leaving them with no power to decide for themselves. It would do them a lot more good if they were educated and left with their own brains to decide.

The impoverished and the destitute class can hardly afford to send their kids to school.

In this country an enormous amount of funding is spent on temples and mosques, on buying statues and ornaments of deities that I am not even sure, if they exist. A little portion of the same if contributed in educating the masses would certainly bring a desirable and much needed change in the mindsets.

Asaram Bapu who has been giving religious preaching to lakhs of followers, I believe if he had had some basic real education in his early life, maybe he wouldn’t go around assaulting young girls and would have some goddamn respect for the opposite sex.

All I want to say here is, that as much it is important for people to have their beliefs, equally important it is for them to take up a little responsibility for providing basic education to those in need. As it is only education and awareness which can give birth to better human beings.

As we have already seen what blind faith in religion results in.

 Economizing and apprising a little for those in need would make the Gods happier I guess.

5 days in Bombay! #part 3

My third day is the best. We go to Shalimar's for lunch.
The white Afghani chicken and mutton do pyaza couldn't be better.

and I can say this was one of the best meal I had ever!

The desert!

In the evening, we go to this place called 'WTF' in Versova. 
Its Saturday night and we don't get a place as we didn't make any reservations.
The place is crowded with big small TV celebrities.
The atmosphere is happening and we get seats after a few minutes.
And about the rest of the night, I don't remember much to be honest.
;)

Sunday Mornings and food.

Well it is a sunny Sunday morning and I don’t like sunny. No. hate it.

I hate it so much so that I sometimes feel like a vampire.

So I decide to spend the day indoors only.

The last week at college was great. I got to give my presentation on the interview assignment that I had submitted earlier this month. The presentation without any preparation went quite well. Everyone appreciated and enjoyed my little jokes.

I like being appreciated. Well who doesn't  But yeah, I have this never ending desire to be praised. No matter what it is. If I do something, and I do it enthusiastically, the only driving force that accelerates my efforts is that I will be applauded for the same.

Yesterday I was given this new assignment in which we have to show the importance, history and the story of any historical place in Delhi through photographs. I am looking forward to work on it. It sounds interesting.

The one thing which is been really worrying me that I am gaining like a pig. I am eating like a pig and gaining like one. It’s like since the moment I wake up I start thinking about what will be my breakfast and then about lunch and so on. I am FOREVER HUNGRY. But then I think it’s just one lifetime I have got, and there is just so much food around me. How to curb my temptations? And more importantly WHY TO?

Its not like I have to pose for some magazine that take super skinny girls and set unrealistic standards for young girls.

I believe in food.

Eat and Love.

Feels good, actually feels awesome.

But my mom totally freaks out with this life mantra of mine, she is afraid if I become fat no good guy will be ready to marry me.

Hahaha. Yes. Typical Indian mother.

How to tell her that getting married is the least of my worries?

I am living in my lala world and I refuse to come out of it.

#sheerbliss.