I am letting you go.

There are times when you realize that you, your hopes, your dreams are bigger than the people in your life. Its one of those times for me. There are times when you realize that inspite of loving someone with everything you have, they might not be satisfied. They will ask for more, and you will keep giving more. And in the process you lose yourself. Your identity. Your self respect.

Compromising and understanding is good in relationships but only to an extent, if a relationship demands more than you can give its time you break the chains and feel free.  Be it your lover, your spouse, a friend, a colleague anyone, you should always know where to draw the lines. If you let other people define your boundaries, they will always be in their favor not yours. They will always dominate you and suppress you. Its in human nature. So stand up for yourself.  Speak up if something is not right. And move on if you feel  you can’t take it anymore.

In life we always keep moving on, as we grow up, we realize who we are and what we want. And if there is something you don’t want, let go of it, keep the wonderful memories but let go of it.

A quote that I find worth sharing by Joel Osteen

“You must make a decision that you are going to move on. It won’t happen automatically. You will have to rise up and say, “I don’t care how hard this is, I don’t care how disappointed I am, I am not going to let this get the best of me. I am moving on with my life.”

So if that someone something Is taking the best of you, don’t let that happen.

Because

You are too special to be drowned. Swim. The shore isn’t far away. 

This will be a busy week!

I have this big BIG exam to take on Saturday. My first exam at the new college. And the way my preparations are proceeding, is scaring the hell outta me. Though I am confident I will cover up just fine, yet there are many things to be taken care of. My first assignment. Its really exciting and I hope I will get to learn lot of stuff about journalism and its various facets as I work on it.

I am supposed to interview 3 people, belonging to the same occupation, but they should be distinct from each other in their own ways. I have chosen to interview my 3 friends, who all are IAS aspirants. One of them has cracked the IES exam with an astounding All India Rank of 49, the other is my favorite one, he is still waiting for his results  but I have chosen him because I think he is really funny and his answers would bring flavor and wit to my interview. And the third one is someone who has been taking the exams but still, sadly, couldn’t crack it even this time. So I guess that would give me enough scope for framing interesting questions considering the fact that they all belong to different  places and have different tales to tell.

If I knew..

And I dedicate this to you. :)

If I knew it would be the last time...

If I knew it would be the last time

That I'd see you fall asleep,

I would tuck you in more tightly

and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.

If I knew it would be the last time

that I see you walk out the door,

I would give you a hug and kiss

and call you back for one more.

If I knew it would be the last time

I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise,

I would video tape each action and word,

so I could play them back day after day.

If I knew it would be the last time,

I could spare an extra minute or two

to stop and say "I love you,"

instead of assuming you would KNOW I do

If I knew it would be the last time

I would be there to share your day,

well I'm sure you'll have so many more,

so I can let just this one slip away.

For surely there's always tomorrow

to make up for an oversight,

and we always get a second chance

to make everything right.

There will always be another day

to say our "I love you's,"

And certainly there's another chance

to say our "Anything I can do's?"

But just in case I might be wrong,

and today is all I get,

I'd like to say how much I love you

and I hope we never forget.

Tomorrow is not promised to anyone,

young or old alike,

And today may be the last chance

you get to hold your loved one tight

So if you're waiting for tomorrow,

why not do it today?

For if tomorrow never comes,

you'll surely regret the day,

That you didn't take that extra time

for a smile, a hug, or a kiss

and you were too busy to grant someone,

what turned out to be their one last wish.

So hold your loved ones close today,

and whisper in their ear,

Tell them how much you love them

and that you'll always hold them dear

Take time to say "I'm sorry," "Please forgive me,"

"Thank you," or "It's okay."

And if tomorrow never comes,

you'll have no regrets about today.

Just another love story!

She wished she could have stayed there and took care of him. It was killing her to leave him like this all alone. He was burning with fever. How bad she wanted to be with him.

Today and forever.

He wasn’t well and she was there to look after him. He asked her to come and in no time she was there. At his home, a million memories came back haunting her. How she was hopelessly in love with him. How she had broken down in his arms a countless times begging for his love. She wished she could turn back time and fix the things that went wrong.

She had hoped that one day he might hold her hand and ask her not to leave but he never did.

It had been a long time since she had known him. They started talking over a social networking app, and before she knew she had fostered feelings for him. Initially he flirted, and the poor lass, didn’t know the difference between genuine attraction and flirting. Courtesy, her small town upbringing! She was soon head over heels in love with him, he was older, mature and wise enough to not fall for her. She tried and cried but in vain. There were times when she went out of her ways to attract his attention and love. He cared but all he could offer her was friendship, and all she craved was love.

At first when she met him, she never knew she would be this crazy for him. But love has strange and cruel ways. She fell in love with a man who was there for her in every possible way but emotionally. Had she known this when she met him first.  There were reasons for his apathy. He had had a tough, sad life. But to me it sounded unfair that a girl who knew nothing about his hard knocks in life back then, should fall for this very guy out of everyone and go to bed every night in tears wishing he was hers. She was desperately craving for his love and affection, she wanted to be her lady. She wanted to be there for her and cook him delicious meals and watch him eat those sumptuously.. ohhh… The way he eats… like a small baby… Even thinking of it brought a smile on her face. One thing that she had discovered about her passionless man was that he loved good food. This amused her in a weird way. And thus, she longed to cook for him.

Yes, she had fallen in love before… She was the kind of girl who fell in love very easily. She was a fool, an innocent young fool.  But this love was very different, after months of trying and ups and downs she had finally given up on him, given up on him in a way that her love for him had turned pure. She had accepted the fact that they were never going to be together, atleast not in this lifetime. She had made peace with the fact that they were different people and had different priorities.

And it was then she stopped expecting and started giving.

She loved him with everything she had. Every bit of her existence was alive for him. They say that once in your lifetime you meet someone who can turn your world upside down. He was the one for him. Her world was never going to be the same again.  She had opened her heart out to him knowing that there was a chance it might get broken one day and she might never experience the love and joy she dreamed of. Being vulnerable to the pain was the only way she knew she could survive.

A part of her heart wanted to stay there and look after this man, who had not allowed her to be a part of his life and future. And a part of her wanted to save herself. Save herself from the miseries that this man had inadvertently brought in her path.

She decided to save herself, picked up her bag, hugged him and moved out of his house and life, determined never to come back again. She had a quiet, peaceful smile on her way back, because today she had cooked for him. No matter for the first and the last time ever. But she had.